Dena's World

Woo Hoo!

2009-03-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

This is just a short little post to update everyone. Today was a great day because, I did not get my pink slip!! I have job for another year! Anyway, I'm very relieved! The stress of waiting to find out what was going to happen with the budget has been ridiculous! Other than that I'm learning new things about teaching everyday and I really feel like I'm starting to make some progress with my students. My blog would be longer, but I'm actually really exhausted so I'm going to go relax!

Seriously?!

2009-01-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

So today I went up and asked my dad if he thought I would get in trouble for showing my students the Inauguration tomorrow. I mean, I would only show the swearing in ceremony because I'm sure it would be online. My dad said something that shocked me. He said that I would most likely get in trouble. Not because of politics or anything like that, but because, he said, we are supposed to be teaching. I can't think of a more teachable moment! This is history whether or not you like Barack Obama, I think my students should be exposed to it. I mean, most of my kids thought that Corcoran was part of Mexico. When the school year started they didn't even know what the Olympics were! (and we were right in the middle of them at the time!) I mean no amount of reading, writing, or math is going to help my students if they don't understand the world around them. It is truly sad that we are now so focused on test scores and everything that we forget that we are educators. I feel like I'm the only person who will expose these kids to life outside of Corcoran. I know their parents won't. I'm just really shocked and upset. I don't even know what to say.

I Made It!

2008-12-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

I made it through the first half of the year. I have really learned a lot and I hope to go back next month with a new perspective. I have had a lot of new experiences and I think I'm finally starting to like teaching. When I first started I was really excited, but, it didn't take long for me to question whether or not I had made the right decision. I felt totally unprepared for the problems my students have. However, I feel much better now looking back on the experiences I have had. I also got my mid year evaluation and my principal didn't have anything to complain about. In fact she complemented me on how much my classroom management has improved and my consistent test scores. Yay! I feel much better now that I know barring any disasters I should be hired back next year. However, she did suggest that I work on my organizational skills. I have piles for everything and I know where everything is, but I understand why she would like to see it more organized.

Friday was our "Winter Program." My class teamed up with another third grade class next door and we sang "Reindeer Jive" and "Feliz Navidad." "Reindeer Jive" is the cutest song ever! For that song our kids all made antler hats and they had a dance for it. For "Feliz Navidad" they made maracas. They all had a great time. I also had the kids make picture frames to give to their parents for Christmas. Let me tell you something, I am so tired of art projects! I had to hot glue together 34 picture frames so that my students could make one for each parent since most come from split homes. Then, we used paper mache (I think that's how it's spelled but if I spelled it wrong I mean ma-shay) and blown up water balloons to make the maracas, so having about 40 kids working on those was a chore. After they dried we had them paint the maracas. Then, after the paint dried I poured rock salt and hot glued sticks into each maraca. It was really time consuming! Anyway after lunch yesterday we had a small party in the classroom. I gave all of my kids a book, a pair of gloves, a pencil and some candy. They all really liked their gifts! I had one student get me a magnet that said "Teachers make the little ones count" or something like that. Another student got me a picture frame snow globe. Most of my students gave me some candy or something like that. It was really exciting!
Darren is coming down to visit my family and go to a family Christmas party with me so that's exciting! But, that's about all for now!

And sometimes they do something nice...

2008-12-12T22:59:00.000-08:00

Most of the time I feel as though I'm fighting an uphill battle with my students. It is hard to make them care about much of anything. However, yesterday they did something that I found to be absolutely adorable. There was a spider that came down from the ceiling(yuck!) during class yesterday and one of my kids, a seriously disturbed little boy, got up from his desk and tried to kill it. Then I hear, "Don't kill her! That's Charlotte!" I found this to be just so precious because we are reading Charlotte's Web right now and my kids actually care about something! So all day long I heard conversations about how Charlotte had come to visit us, (obviously we haven't read the end of the book yet) but it was still a great moment even though I HATE spiders!

Long time no blog...

2008-11-27T10:44:00.001-08:00

Wow, it's Thanksgiving already! I feel like I haven't really had a chance to catch my breath. Teaching is going pretty well, I think I finally am getting the hang of it. It's been much harder than I expected. I look at the class I have as a learning experience, I'm getting to deal with just about everything you can imagine. There have been times when it is extremely frustrating, most of my evaluations have been good, but it's hard to hear that I'm doing things right, but I feel my kids aren't learning. I guess I just expect too much of them. I don't know, but I'll keep working on it. Other than working, I've been taking credential classes. I love the other people in my cohort. We have so much fun! My classes are going well, I'm getting good grades, but it's just overwhelming sometimes.

I've been able to make it up to Fresno a couple of times. I miss everyone up there very much. I feel like I have no life anymore, it's just work and school. I don't really hang out with anyone or do anything during the week and most weekends. It's been nice to be able to escape to Fresno. (That's something I never thought I would say lol) Anyway, I made it to Thanksgiving break and I'm still alive, my students are still alive and I guess that's a good thing! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

School!

2008-08-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

So I made it through the first 2 days of school! My kids are so much fun, I guess for the most part. Some of my kids are, well, challenging to say the least. But I'm having a great time and I think this year is going to be great! My room looks amazing, thanks in part to Darren. He came down to help me decorate my room since I was stuck in meetings for a good portion of last week. Other than that, we've already had back to school night and that went well. I got to meet a lot of the parents or grandparents or whoever is raising the student. I would say a little less than half of the parents don't speak any English, but I had all of my paperwork in English and Spanish so they were able to get the information. That's about it for now, I know there's more, but I'm tired. Who knew that teaching could be so exhausting?

GRRRRRRRRRRR!

2008-08-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

I noticed all of my spelling errors in the last blog, but I can't edit it! Don't worry, I can spell, I just can't type! lol

Ok so...

2008-08-13T19:19:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the Olympic comittee was thinking when they put the Olympics in China. Everything since the start has been full of controversy and the women's team gymnastics is just the latest controversy. Sorry to get all political, but it really bothers me. I know that nothing that happens in the Olympics has any affect on me whatsoever, but it somehow makes it imposible to watch when things aren't fair. I just think that something as simple as a sporting event should set politics aside and bring everyone together, but that hasn't happened for a long time. So why do I keep watching? Maybe it's because I have hope that someday things are going to be fair and people who are truly talented will get the chance that is rightfully theirs. It's not just the Olympics, it's a lot of sporting events. I can't remember the last time I watched a football game or whatever that was called correctly. I love sports, but I guess it's too much to ask to have people beleive the same way I do. Sport should be just that, it shouldn't be money changing hands to corrupt officials or governments interferring in what should be the most unifying time. True sport is simple and fun, I guess it can't be that anymore and people like myself just can't watch anymore.

Updates

2008-08-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

I know that it's been forever since I've posted on here so here are some updates...
I finished my framework classes for the Impact program and now I just have to finish up some paperwork for my actual intern credential. Some of the classes were interesting and helpful, while others were really boring. I did learn a lot and I met a lot of people, some I would rather forget, but oh well. Some of the people I met, in my opinion don't belong in education, but, I guess that's not my call to make. Anyway, after my classes I went to Seattle with Darren to watch his half brother, Chris get married! The wedding was so pretty, (for pictures go to Darren's blog and then click the link to his photo bucket and look under Seattle Part Deux) and we had a really great time. We drove the 15-16 hours from Fresno to Seattle and that was a really long drive, but we played some great car games with Derek and Ashlea and the time went by faster than I thought it would. I had the fun task of driving through part of Oregon with all the mountains, that was interesting. Then Derek drove us into Seattle. I was a little sad because I had to fly home the day after the wedding and Darren's family wasn't leaving until Tuesday. I had to leave because I was starting my SB472 training for Corcoran on Monday, so I flew into Fresno on Sunday evening and Erin picked me up from the airport and I drove home. (SB472 is basically government funded training for teachers and mine was a seminar for teaching English Language Learners) So all last week I had training and it was the most boring thing I have ever done! Something good did come of it though, I met most of the staff I will be working with and they are so nice and supportive. I am really lucky, everyone really seems to get along and I have many offers for help. It really is nice to have that kind of support. The only problem I had last week was my room wasn't ready. I am really lucky, I get a brand new classroom, but it just didn't get done as quickly as they thought it would. So, all last week the other teachers worked in their rooms after training and I just went home. Then this last weekend I went up to Fresno to visit Darren and to use my gift certificate to GW (thanks to Darren's aunt and uncle!) and I got some really neat things for my room. Today I had to go to district orientation, and during my lunch break I went to my school and my room was finally open! There isn't any electricity yet, but they are hoping to have that finished by tomorrow or Wednesday and then my room will be complete! The room is much bigger than I thought it would be and it is just fabulous. There is tons of storage and more wall space than I thought. Oh well, that just means I get to hang more posters! Anyway, tomorrow I have to meet with my literacy coaches (really helpful teachers) in the morning and then I get to work in my room the rest of the day and then Wednesday is the official first day of my contract! So that's about it for now!

Got a Job!

2008-06-20T11:28:00.001-07:00

Ok, I know it's been a while since I've posted anything on here. So here's some updates. I GOT A JOB!! I will be teaching 3rd grade in Corcoran. I'm super excited! I interviewed there last Friday and got the job on Tuesday! So, I will be starting my classes to get my intern credential tomorrow! I have class almost everyday in the month of July, but I get the week of the 4th off which means I can go to Fresno for Darren's birthday. Then when I finish these classes I will officially have my intern credential and then I can start my classes to get my full credential. That will be a 2 year process, but I think it will be worth it because I will already be teaching. So yesterday I went to Corcoran and signed all my paperwork and then I went to the County Office in Hanford and had my fingerprints taken and sat through some legal training. Well that's about it for now. I'll try to keep people updated on how my classes are going.

Updates/rant

2008-06-06T22:30:00.001-07:00

Ok, first for my rant. I just went to my little brother's high school graduation. People are so rude! People who bring the air horns and set them off not only through their child's name being called, but through the next 6 names on the list should be taken out of the stadium and shot! Next, why do people feel the need to yell out, "WE LOVE YOU _______!!!!" SIX THOUSAND TIMES!! Ok, yell for your kid when their name is called I mean we yelled, "GO CAMERON!" when his name was called, but really, yelling it while other people are trying to cheer for their kid is just rude! Oh, and my personal favorite was people in front of us stood up and held up posters for their child, and the people behind us didn't get to see their child walk because they were trying to get the people who stood up in front and held up their posters to sit down. JERKS!!!!!!! Honestly, people need to try to have a little respect and need to carry themselves with a little more dignity.

Ok, my updates now I just finished my long term subbing at Howard. It was interesting to say the least, but that's a whole different blog. I am most excited about the fact that I have a job interview on MONDAY!! WOO HOO!!! Hopefully everything works out! Ok, well I'm getting tired so I'm out!

FREE!!!

2008-05-15T18:23:00.001-07:00

Yep, as of 6:10PM tonight I am officially done with school! I turned in my last paper and took my last test! YAY!!! Ok, now I'm going to go pack because tomorrow is GRADUATION and my parents are coming to help me move my stuff home.

Updates!

2008-05-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, I've been super busy over the last few weeks. First of all, I still pretty much love being a substitute teacher! I especially like when I'm in the younger grades and I've figured out that 2nd grade is probably where I belong. However, I still need a job and right now, I will take almost anything, except Kindergarten (it takes a SAINT to work with those kids!) On that note, I am going to be a long term sub in a 7th grade classroom until June 5. This is a cool opportunity because it is a K-8 school so I could use my multi-subject credential in the 7th and 8th grade because you keep the same students all day long, except for math. Well, the principal came and talked to me while I was subbing in another class at the school last week and he asked me if it would be ok if he came in and gave me an evaluation. Of course I said yes any feedback would be more than welcome. Then he said that they would have some positions opening up in the fall and this could be like an audition. I was SO excited! I told him that I am not fully credentialed yet, but I would have my intern credential. He said he would, "see what we can do" YAY! I know it's hard for me to get a job because each school can only have a certain percentage of non fully credentialed teachers on their staff, but at least I can get a letter of recommendation out of this, and hopefully a job!

Other than that, I'm in the middle of finals and hopefully I can pull a 3.3 this semester, I just need to get an "A" on my Art History final. I went to my diversity final today, we didn't have an actual final because we had group presentations last week that counted as our final. Anyway, I got my research paper back and I got an "A"! I was so excited, but what is even more excited is my teacher actually wants to keep a copy of my paper! Yeah, the teacher who hated me wants my paper, I was pretty shocked too! Well, I have another paper to write for my English final and a paper for my Natural Science final and then study for my Art History final all of which are on Thursday and then GRADUATION FRIDAY! WOO HOO!

Blah!

2008-04-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: This blog is mainly my feelings about life in general. It will not contain any vital need to know information. It was just written so I could get all my thoughts out and be able to look at them and contemplate my life. So, if you are bored read on.

Ok, so let me just say mfodsakjfewioruewiwonflkdsntoer;athudiosanfdkd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I mean that sincerely! I'm not going to post a lot of drama on here because, well it's not worth my time. But, I am 22 years old I don't need to be caught up in people's bs! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I don't appreciate confrontations when I walk in the door for something YOU did wrong. Grow up or get out! Ok, now that's out of my system we can get on to the real news. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am seriously questioning whether or not I should be a teacher. Pros and Cons time! YAY!

PROS:
I love working with children
I am good at communicating and teaching
I love to see the "light bulb" go on when I'm done explaining something
The education field is something that I am familiar with because both my parents work in it.

CONS:
I can't always say what I'm thinking.
I'm not very good at communicating with people my own age or older. I am too shy.
I don't have any classroom management skills, and yes, I know that will come with time and more training, but still it's frustrating to think I've spent 4 years in college and I'm just as prepared to take over my own classroom as I was when I entered college. That is just sad, what a waste of 4 years!

Well, I just don't know what to do. I guess I'll start out teaching and see what happens, it's just that I'm so over school right now I don't want to take more classes. Eck.

I had a lot more to write, but I am getting really tired and I forgot most of it. Actually the stupid argument tonight when I got home distracted me. Oh well, bed time.

High School Again

2008-03-31T20:10:00.001-07:00

Today I was a sub at Chowchilla again. It was MUCH better. I was in a junior English class and the teacher was having them watch The Great Gatsby. They had to take notes on Jay Gatsby so that they could write a paper describing why he was the anti-hero. That means they had to be quiet! Great! The classes were pretty good, a little noisy during some parts of the movie, but overall they were well behaved. Some of them were having trouble keeping all the characters straight, so we had to stop the movie the last 10 minutes of class to discuss what was going on. I felt like a real teacher. I was having a good time. Then the last period of the day was the yearbook class. So they just got to work on the proofs and I got to sit there for the last hour. What made it even better was that it was an early release day so I got to come home at 2. Overall it was a great day.

First day of High School...

2008-03-26T16:28:00.001-07:00

So today was my first day as a sub. I was up at Chowchilla High School and I was put in a remedial freshman English class. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! My first two classes were in two hour blocks. So, my first class was absolutely crazy because they love to pick on one of the kids who has a disability, which caused him to yell and threaten to hit them and blah, blah, blah. So, every 5 minutes I had to say, "Stop looking at him!" "You, don't talk to them and they will leave you alone." "Sit down and do your work!" It was like watching preschoolers! Wait, I take that back, I think the preschoolers are better behaved. So after two hours of that, it was break time. Then my next class came in and they were worse than the last! For two hours of this class I had to say, "Sit down!" "Stop throwing things." "That is not appropriate conversation." and on and on it goes. I even had to give out a detention! Finally after that class it was lunch time. I ate lunch and then my last class of the day was Junior/Senior remedial English. They were pretty good. Most of them just bought their prom tickets and the caps and gowns for the seniors had come in. They were really excited, so I gave them their assignment, but I pretty much just let them talk because they weren't being bad, and, I know how excited they are. This class only lasted for an hour and the last period of the day was a prep period for the teacher I was subbing for, so I got to leave early.

Overall, I learned a lot about classroom management and I remembered why I don't want to teach high school! But, the staff was very supportive and helpful so I am excited to go back. I will be there again next Monday and Wednesday, I guess we'll see what happens then!

Happy Easter?

2008-03-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

I realize I'm about to sound like I'm five years old, but I don't care. My family, especially my mom has always been about tradition. Birthdays, Christmas and Easter have always been the same. Birthdays always have the same streamers and birthday sign hung up, Christmas has always started with a note outside mine and Cameron's doors saying something about not going out to the family room until mom and dad said so. Easter was actually much of the same, we had to wait to see what the Easter Bunny brought us. Naturally, as we got older, the presents changed and we don't wake up as early now, but the point is, holidays are still fun even though I'm 22 and Cam's 18. That is until this weekend. Ok, I know that eventually we all grow up and this stuff wasn't going to go on forever, but, I needed it this year. I needed things to be normal. It would be ok if it changed next year, Cam will be in college, living in the dorms and I'll probably be living in an apartment somewhere, depending on where I get a job. Things have to change, but I don't understand why I couldn't have that for one more year. It's not just the fact that there was no note on the door this morning, I had to dye the eggs by myself last night, by 9:00 my dad was asleep on the couch, Cam was asleep because he didn't feel well and my mom was asleep, even my dog was sleeping. So, I dyed the eggs and then watched tv. This morning I woke up, our Easter baskets were out with the candy and a couple dvds, but there was no note telling us to stay out of the family room. So I walked out and my dad was on the computer playing online poker, his new hobby. Mom was in the kitchen reading the paper. I walked in, and she said, "good morning." Not, "Happy Easter" or "Why are you out here?" nada. Ok, I know this sounds stupid and not worth getting upset over, but I am. I just needed things to be normal for one more year. In my family, holidays are always important, it's not necessarily the presents anymore, but the tradition and the game of it all. Ok, I sound so selfish and stupid.

It's not just Easter being different, something isn't right here and no one will tell me what it is. Mom has just been pouting and apparently she has some sort of health problem, but she won't tell anyone what it is. She took me shopping yesterday afternoon and said she was in a bad mood, but wouldn't elaborate on it. When I tried to ask dad later, he just said he didn't know, but she'd been in a bad mood for a while and whenever he brings it up she just gets mad. I don't really know what to do. I'm just really sad that things have changed this much when I just needed something to be normal.

The Pictures!

2008-03-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

This is the house where we stayed.

These girls are the best! (L to R Erin, Me, Naomi)

Happy St. Patty's Day!

View of Morro Rock from the balcony.

Erin and I on the balcony

On the beach

We also put together a lot of puzzles. The last one had one piece missing! So frustrating! But overall we had a great time. We watched the first two seasons of the tv show Supernatural. It was not the best show, but the guys are pretty nice to look at. Hahaha. Anyway, it was too cold most days to spend a lot of time on the beach, but we got plenty of sun and we had a great time!

Insert Title Here....

2008-03-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a great vacation! I just spent 4 days in Cayucos at one of my sorority sister's beach house. We had a total blast! We ate so much food, I don't think I'm going to eat for a month! Ok, maybe sooner. But, this was a vacation I desperately needed, this semester is so stressful. I just bought my cap and gown for graduation and I received my letter stating that if I pass all my classes this semester I can graduate in May. Yeah, that's a big IF. I have a "diversity" class that is threatening my graduation. Mainly because I want to tell my teacher to shove it up her....well you can fill in the blank. First of all, she is a feminist Mormon, just let that marinate for a couple seconds. Next, she is blond hair, blue eyed, WHITE, however she says that white people are bad. The woman is giving me a nervous break down, because anytime I ask her to explain a statement she has made, she says that I am only asking because I can't get beyond my "white privilege." What is that?! Because I'm white, I must be privileged. News to me! I went to her office hours to ask about a grade I got on my journal that I had to write when I read the required articles. I asked her why I got such a poor grade on it. She said that it was because I acted as "judge" of the articles. Well, she didn't want a summary of the article, so she must have wanted a commentary. No, she wants me to validate the author, in other words, write why the author is right whether I agree or not. Whatever. I just need a C. Deep breaths....

Moving on, I'm not exactly excited about graduating. It's not that I don't want to, I've waited a very long time for this, but I'm just not excited. When I bought my cap and gown everyone around me said, "That's so cool! Are you excited?" I just smiled and nodded, but the truth is, I'm not excited at all, not even a little bit. Maybe it will hit me later.

On the up side of things, I am officially starting to sub next week. I have three days lined up already at Chowchilla High School. I know, pretty far, but the pay is really good and I have a relatively fuel efficient car. The scary part is that it is at a high school. Those kids, (wow, can I call them kids?! I'm not that much older than them) are going to eat me alive. Hopefully it works out. I'm sure it will, I'm just excited to have a job!

Well, I don't want to depress my readers too much so I won't write my entire rant on here, but let's just say, thank goodness I have Darren and my close friends, especially friends with beach houses. Hehehe....

(Pictures of beach adventure to come)

I'm back!

2007-12-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

Due to technical difficulties I have not posted a blog in about 10 months! Sorry about that, but I figured out how to sign in to my account again! YAY!

So, for a small update, I went to Tennessee for Thanksgiving to see my grandparents and my cousin, (She goes to school in Maryville) and my uncle and his girlfriend and one of his sons came down too.

Finals are finally over! I'm hoping to have a good gpa this semester. Only one more semester to go!!

Sick...

2007-02-10T20:09:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I posted on here. A few updates, I am currently taking 20 units, I hold 2 offices in my sorority and another on the Panhellenic executive board ( Panhellenic is the umbrella organization for all social sororities on campus), and I am tutoring 3 students twice a week. Eventually I suppose this was going to catch up with me. This week was long because it was our recruitment focus week, we had an event every night. Well Wednesday I woke up with a tickle in my throat, then Thursday I woke up and my throat hurt bad, and by Friday I was in the doctor's office being told that I have strep throat, a sinus infection and the beginning of an ear infection, lovely. So they put me on some antibiotics and cough syrup with codeine. So I've spent most of today sleeping and trying to get better, because with 20 units I can't afford to miss very many classes.

Other than that, Darren and I had a nice 1 year anniversary and we are very happy together, we have our rough spots, but we get through them and I couldn't be happier!

My 21st Birthday!!

2007-01-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

Saturday was my 21st birthday and I had a blast!! Darren came down early in the day and we hung out and I opened gifts. Darren gave me his old playstation 2 and he bought me Dance Dance Revolution! I also got an ipod, and a blanket for my room in the sorority, a hands free earpiece for my phone and a book that was written by one of my old music teachers. He just died so that was extra special. Darren's parents got me a gift certificate to Chipotle, they know me so well. ( I am ADDICTED to Chipotle!) I got some money from my grandparents and a gift certificate to Macy's from my Omi, (my dad's mom). Then Darren and I went down into Porterville and got some Chinese food from the BEST Chinese food place! It was a great day. Then for dinner we went to a restaraunt by the lake and I ordered a margarita, and then a tequila sunrise. Yeah, it was a fun night. My friend Kelly and her boyfriend Aaron came with us and we talked and caught up on things. I hadn't seen Aaron since my sophmore year of high school, so it was good to see him. Overall I had a great birthday.

Tomorrow, I get my wisdom teeth pulled out, I'm really scared. I don't want to do it. Hopefully everything things will go ok. Then I'm supposed to move back to Fresno on Saturday and mine and Darren's one year anniversary is on Monday. I can't believe it's already been a year!

Updates:

2006-12-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

The picture above is from my sorority formal on December 1st. It was Darren's first prom-like dance and we had a good time. It was at the same place that Bridget and Joey had their reception, in the same room. The food was really good and over all it was a great night. It started out really hectic because I had to drive to Hanford for an eye doctor appointment earlier in the afternoon, then I came back to Fresno and started to get ready, but I had no idea what to do with my hair, so my sorority sister, Kamaria, spent an hour and a half helping me curl and style my hair. It turned out great, but made me a little too late to go over to Darren's for pre-dance pictures. Oh well, we got some at the sorority house and lots at the dance. The most exciting part of the night was that I convinced Darren to wear a pink tie! He wasn't thrilled with the idea, but it turned out great!

Darren and I exchanged gifts early because we were both really impatient and didn't want to wait until almost Christmas. Darren gave me a BEAUTIFUL promise ring!! I'm so excited!!! I gave him a watch that is engraved on the back.

Finals ended today and I've never been so happy to see a semester end! Hopefully my grades turn out ok. I'm going to miss everyone here in Fresno, but I will come up and visit. And I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled on January 9th, just after my 21st birthday. That should be fun.

Basketball!

2006-11-22T14:34:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to my first Fresno State basketball game with Darren, Tarra, James and Jorge, we had a pretty good time. It was the men's team and they played some school from Arkansas that no one has ever heard of, but at least they won. The game was actually pretty boring. I remember the high school basketball games I went to were loud and full of energy, but this one seemed really calm and quiet. The Save Mart Center is really nice, and the seats were comfy, and you can't beat FREE. Yep, students get in free to all the basketball games which is nice. The best part of the game was the pep band director. We sat next to the pep band and the guy was hilarious! I mean, he was saying some really lame things, but it was so lame it was funny. He kept shouting things at the other team and it was pretty entertaining.

Longest week ever...

2006-09-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

This week has been really long and trying and just, well, life changing. It started out on Sunday night with Darren getting car jacked by a guy with a gun. I was on the phone with him when he got off work, and heard the guy say "give me your keys or I'll shoot you" and then click. I was scared and crying and all I could do was wait for him to call back. He did, after 6 minutes, and told me he was ok and he was with the police. Then, his manager said that he wouldn't have to work nights and they would work on a transfer for him. That was Monday, and on Tuesday the district manager for Starbucks said that he had to work nights. I really think that district manager is a jerk, who just sits up in his office in Fig Garden Village and has never had to worry about walking out to find a Bulldog gang member waiting for him with a gun wanting to take his car, but whatever Darren went to work last night and he's there again tonight. He's a lot braver than I would be. Then Tuesday I went to the doctor and when I got there, they couldn't even really examine me cause I couldn't stop coughing and I couldn't take deep breaths. So, they put me on a nebulizer (or however you spell it) and that helped me breathe a little, and then the doctor told me that I had severe bronchitis, and sinusitis, and phyangitis(aka a throat infection) anyways, I'm on this really strong medication and cough syrup with codine. Then, Wednesday I found out that my advisor, Kathy died in a car crash. At first we were all in shock, but then we listened to the song that we are going to sing at her funeral and we all lost it. I don't even know what to say, or think or feel. And then I realized, I say the word "I" a lot. I have a lot to be grateful for. So, it is hard to know that Kathy is gone. It's hard to understand how one day someone can be standing in my room talking to me for a while and me even promising to talk to her every week and the next day, she's gone. I didn't even know her as well as some of the other alumni and I just feel so bad for them because they lost someone they knew very well. I guess I just don't know what to say about that. Anyways, the funeral is on Monday. Then Thursday we got a little good news, the police found Darren's car, in Shafter. Yeah, Shafter, as in right near Bakersfield. They also caught the suspect, who according to the Shafter police is a known member of the Bulldog gang and had other warrants for his arrest. We were all shocked that he didn't ditch the car, but I guess it's good that they caught him. So that brings us to today, it started off with a phone call from Darren saying that he had to look at a photo lineup with some detectives. He wasn't able to identify the suspect. He couldn't remember his face. He remembers what the suspect was wearing, his body type, his ethnicity, the fact that his head was shaved, but not his face. Oh well, I'm proud of him for remembering as much as he did and for being brave enough to look. Then we hung out because neither of us had class and we went to lunch and walked around Riverpark, just talking and being together. Then we went to his house and watched tv until his dad came home from work and told him that he had seen Darren's car and ran off the list of what was stolen and what was still there. His radio and cd's were still in the car, but his gym shorts and our tennis rackets and balls were gone. Random huh? Anyway, there was a long list of stuff for the car, but the damage was just to his front right wheel and the car is dirty inside and out. Other than that, it's still drivable, but Darren isn't sure he wants to drive it anymore. Then on our way back to the sorority we saw an accident happen right in front of us. It was on the corner of Sierra and Blackstone and it involved 3 cars. I am certified in CPR and First Aid so I had to go help, plus we had to stay because we were witnesses. I went to the car with a family inside and one of the little girls was hurt and bleeding from her nose, I think it was broken, but she also hit her head and her dad was trying to move her, so I had to tell him to stop, but he only spoke Spanish, so I had to recall some of my Spanish skills from high school. I was mostly gesturing to get him to do what I wanted. Then I looked at the littlest girl and she was ok, just a scratched hand from broken glass, then the mother was crying and holding her chest. She was having a little trouble breathing, but I don't think anything was broken. She was panicking because her daughter was crying so much and she couldn't see how bad she was hurt. I tried to get her to hold still and had to actually hold her still until she understood. By this point someone who was driving by had stopped and he was a nurse who spoke Spanish. Thank God! So I stepped back and let him know what was happening and the police got there about the same time as well. Then Darren came from parking the car and we stood on the median until a fireman came and asked what was happening, I told him about the woman and that the girl would be fine she was just scared. The paramedics were there too. There was coolant and fuel on the road, and the guy who caused the accident kept trying to leave. It was just a very chaotic scene and I don't think I will be able to get the woman's crying out of my head for a while. So that's been my week. On the upside, I have my sisters, and my boyfriend who could have been shot, but is thankfully ok and my family to help me through this life-changing week.

Can't sleep...

2006-08-20T03:47:00.000-07:00

...cause it's like 100 degrees in my room even with 3 fans on. This sucks, I really hate being hot more than almost anything in the world. Damn global warming, it's going to be this hot until at least October if not later. I need to just graduate and get the hell out of the valley. It's just too hot! I've tried to go to sleep since about 11:15 and I've managed probably a grand total of an hour. I don't know how people lived in this area before air conditioning, oh wait, that's right, it was cooler (if only a little bit) because there wasn't as much pollution. I've been wandering the halls aimlessly because it's cooler out in the hallways. Then I went downstairs and watched TV for a while cause it's a lot cooler down there. Then I came back up here and tried to sleep, but it's just not happening. I'm so exhausted and I know it's only going to get worse. It's supposed to be well over 100 degrees this week...if I don't melt it will be a frickin miracle. I know I'm bitching and moaning, but that's just because I can't sleep and I'm tired and cranky. Tomorrow should be interesting, but not nearly as interesting as the rest of the week...I wonder how long I can go without sleep? I mean, I have sorority meetings that start early all week long, I have no idea how I'm going to make it through them.
Oh well, on the up side of things, I am finally back in Fresno, close to the people I love most in the world. This summer I grew up a lot and realized a lot of things about my life and lets just say I would rather be where I am tonight, than where I was. Well that's about it for now. I guess I'll play solitaire or something and wait until later when I can go some place with air conditioning. I hope the a/c they ordered comes in sooner than a week or two.

* It should be mentioned that I'm writing this at 3:45am and I'm tired, so if this doesn't make any sense, sorry.

Should be packing but...

2006-08-16T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'm moving back to Fresno on Saturday!! YAY!!!! I can't wait to be away from home again and with my friends and most importantly my boyfriend! I move into the sorority house at noon on Saturday and Darren got the day off from work so he could help me. It's one of the few times he's allowed upstairs. Anyways, then we are going out to Edo Ya for dinner and just to spend some time together. Sunday, I'm hanging out with one of my best friends from high school, Kelly. I haven't seen her since summer began. I miss a lot of people very much and I can't wait to see them! I also get away from my parents. They are driving me crazy! I can't wait to be away from them. I know as soon I get to Fresno I need to start looking for a good job because I really don't want to have to move back home next summer. So hopefully everything works out.

Not ready to be a mom...

2006-08-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of days I've had to take care of my brother. My parents went to the beach until tomorrow night. So, my brother is almost 17 and is going into his junior year of high school, he is on the water polo team and the link crew. He doesn't have his driver's license yet because he failed his test a little over a week ago. He will take it again on Thursday, I think. So for the last couple of days I have had to get him to his "hell week" for water polo. I'm not sure who the hell week is geared toward, the athlete or the person driving the athlete to two practices a day. I know when I was in sports I was sure that hell week was intended to test the athlete, but now, I think it's a test for the parent or whoever is driving. The first day I was up at 5:30am to get Cam to a 6:30am practice. The morning practice was only an hour so to pass the time I drove my car through the car wash, filled up my tank and went to Starbucks ( I don't like getting up that early). Then I picked him up, drove him back to our house, he showered and then I drove him back down to the school so that he could go to his link crew meeting at 9:00am. I came back home and tried to sleep, but that Starbucks coffee was still working so I talked to Darren and watched tv. Then Cam called and I drove down and picked him up. We sat around and he ate some lunch and relaxed before we had to go back to the school for his 5:30pm practice. I drove back to the house and then waited about an hour then drove back down to pick him up at 7:30pm. Then he wanted to go to a sandwich place for dinner so I drove him down the street to "Hoagies" purchased dinner and drove home. I was exhausted. But, my night was not over. I had to feed the dog and clean up a mess she made while I was out. She decided that her dry dog food was not enough and she went through the trash in the house spreading wrappers and stuff everywhere. So I finally went to sleep and thankfully Cameron's practice was later this morning. So, I woke up at 6:30 this morning to get Cameron to his 7:30 practice but he had a link crew meeting right after practice so thankfully I could go home and get a little more sleep, at least that was the plan. BUT, my car decided to make a funny noise and flash the "maintenance required" light, so I took it down the street to the shop that my parent's friends own and they looked at it and determined that it was probably my power steering. So I have to take it to a Honda place to get that fixed. So after I was informed that my car was safe to drive I drove back up the hill and crashed on the sofa. I talked to Darren and heard a knock on my door. So I get up and it's one of the men working on the house across the street, they are having their roof replaced, anyways their cell phones were not working up here and the people that own the house were not home and the workers needed to talk to their boss, so they borrowed my phone and then I came back in and called Darren again until I passed out on the couch for about an hour and then drove down to pick up my brother at 12:45, but he called me when I pulled into the parking lot at the school to tell me he was going to need another half hour so it was off to Starbucks again. Then I picked him up and came back home we relaxed and ate lunch then it was time to take him back for his evening practice at 5:30. I came back home and relaxed and fed the dog then went back down and picked him up and now I'm sitting here writing about my last two days, but I get to repeat the process in the morning, minus the link crew, he doesn't have that tomorrow (thank goodness!) Well, I'm glad my parents are coming back home tomorrow night cause I am really tired of this! I'm not ready to be the mom of a teenage boy! I mean he's involved in a lot and it's a 20 minute drive to the school from my house. So let's do the math 20 minutes to the school, 20 minutes back times 24 trips up and down the hill = 480 minutes of driving in 3 days. Oh and half a tank of gas. Whew!

Adventures in Tennis

2006-08-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

Well, today was my first day of not working so I was sitting around the house, bored. So I asked my little brother to go play tennis with me. I thought this would be a good idea because we live in the country club and there is a tennis court down by the club house. Well I found out that you have to actually be a member to use the tennis court. I thought that was weird because the general public can use the golf course. Well, we were members at one point in time, but my parents decided we weren't using it enough to warrant the $700 a month. So, we just drove down into town and went to my brother's high school to use the tennis courts there. Our tennis skills are not all that impressive. We spent more time chasing the balls rather than actually playing tennis. But, it was still fun and good exercise. I was really excited because it was actually not 113 degrees today! So, that was my adventure for today, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Feeling Better/Last Day

2006-08-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well, my back is much better after a couple days of some serious muscle relaxers and not really doing too much. I'm happy to say I'm all better. I still don't know what caused my back to spasm like that, but oh well it's over.

Yesterday, my wonderful boyfriend came down to Porterville to see me. He came to my office with really pretty flowers and then we went to this Italian place down the street for lunch. Then we came back to my office and he sat with me while I did some work. Most of my work yesterday was making lists of what I do for the next person who comes in to take over my job. Then I had to run a couple of errands and that was pretty much it for me. So we drove up to my house in Springville and he had dinner with my family. We watched Madagascar and sat and talked. Then he left because he had to be at work at 6:30 this morning. Then tonight he is flying to Seattle. I'm so excited for him because he gets to leave the valley, but I'm sad too because I'm gonna miss him.

Today is my last day of work. I have mixed emotions about it. I like the people I work with and I have learned a lot about the legal procedure. It was nice to work with people who were about my age. The oldest person in the office is 30 so they could all relate to what was going on in my life. Since I started my job on June 1st I have worked with many clients, typed lots of letters, drafted a contract, taken phone messages, organized files, witnessed a new attorney swearing in, and helped coordinate a trip for 14 high school water polo players. Ok, that last one might sound a bit confusing so let me explain. The attorney who owns the firm that I work for is also a high school water polo coach. My little brother is on the team, which is how I got involved. They were invited to an international water polo tournament in Auckland, New Zealand. Now naturally this is a huge task, but my parents became the "organizers" of the trip and they helped set up fundraisers, and they organized the parents so that the team raised enough money to pay for all the athletes' trips. Ok, so while I was at work, the coach decided it would be good for me to figure out rooming assignments, a behavior contract, a packing list, chaperone lists and jobs for each chaperone, oh and balancing the budget. That was a nightmare! However, it all got settled and they ended up having a great trip. So, all that aside I've had good experiences and not so good experiences. It has been a great summer job and I know I'm going to get a lot of letters of recommendation out of this. So it's a bittersweet goodbye. There a people I will miss and certain clients I won't miss.

OUCH!

2006-07-31T09:38:00.000-07:00

So this weekend had its ups and downs. My roommate came over and spent the night Friday night. We had lots of fun catching up and stuff. While she was there we both got phone calls on our cells that we got the room we wanted in the sorority house! YAY! So that made us very happy. We didn't end up going to the lake though because we just spend too much time talking and well neither of us really felt like swimming and there isn't much shade by the lake. So, we sat at home and watched Save the Last Dance and A Walk to Remember. So overall it was a good time. Then Saturday I woke up with a sore back. I just figured I had slept weird and assumed it would go away with time. However, it did not go away, it got worse! So I took some pain medication and put a heating pad on it and tried to go to sleep. I planned on going to the waterslides in Tulare with Darren on Sunday, but when I woke up Sunday morning I could barely move. So my dad took me to the emergency room. Ok, this was an experience. First off I get there and I wait, which is expected. Then the nurse calls me in to take my blood pressure and pulse, etc. Then she tells me that they don't have any beds available so I would have to wait for a while. She wasn't very nice and made me feel like I was an inconvenience more that a patient. So here I am complaining of back problems and she wants me to walk back out into the waiting room, which wasn't a problem except the door was heavy and I could barely push it open, it hurt so bad. But she didn't turn around or offer to help or anything. So I finally get called in again after a little while of waiting and they give me a bed in the hallway! I was told to sit on the bed, which I could barely get on because it was high up and my back was hurting right around my shoulder blades which made it hard for me to push myself up onto the bed. Then I'm sitting there in the hallway and everyone who is bad enough to be admitted gets wheeled past me and everyone who is coming into the er walks past me. Yeah, I felt like a freak show. Anyways, no one even asked me how I was doing or talked to me for an hour. Yeah they pretty much ignored me. I didn't have anything to lean my back against and it kinda hurt to lay down so there I sat. At one point a nurse even walked up to my bed and took apart the machine that was at the end of my bed. She didn't' say hi, or someone will be right with you, or are you ok or anything. She didn't even look at me. It was like I was invisible. I was kinda thinking, this is ridiculous because all they need to do is give me a prescription for some muscle relaxers. I knew that was all they were going to do and it would take them like a minute to do. Finally a doctor came to see me and he told me I had some really bad spasms. So he wanted to give me a shot to make it better and then prescribe some muscle relaxers. WELL DUH! I can't believe it took that long for him to say that. So, lets keep in mind that I'm in the hallway in front of everyone. The nurse comes back in like 20 minutes and is like we need to give you this shot in your butt. I was like, um not here. So, they took me into a bathroom and yeah that was pretty dumb. So anyways then I got to leave finally. Then, we went to get the prescription filled and the computers at the pharmacy were down so they couldn't fill the prescription. So we had to go to another pharmacy and yeah it was going to be a while, so my dad took me home and then went back to town to get the prescription. Whatever shot they gave me didn't really work so finally when I took the pills they knocked me out and made me feel a little better. But anyways, that was my weekend. Lesson learned, Porterville Hospital sucks!

2006-07-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, well I've officially jumped on the band wagon of the blog spot thanks to my wonderful boyfriend, Darren. I believe he created this blog so that I could get away from myspace and all the drama it causes when I block people from seeing my blogs. Also, this is a site that my sorority sisters don't know about, therefore I can complain all I want in writing. However, since it is still a public blog, I will not be mentioning too many names or specific details. I simply like to vent a little in writing because it makes me feel better about it. I'm not really one to vocalize a lot of my problems so writing is the best thing for me. There will be happy blogs too, because well I like to think of the positives more than the negatives of life.

Alright, here it goes. Sometimes I wonder why I stay in the sorority. Right now I am facing drama of a girl who has decided to manipulate and control most of the house into doing whatever she says and she is also in charge of making room assignments for the year. Well, I refuse to be manipulated by her so consequently we have often locked horns. Well, to get back at me, she is trying to make me live in a room with someone I can not live with. This upsets me because I went to the president and she said that she didn't want to do anything about it, then I went to the chapter advisor and she doesn't want to do anything about it either. It is cowardly and I don't want to be a part of a spineless organization. When I joined, things were good. The sorority sisters were very close with one another and I felt immediately loved and accepted, which at the time was something I really needed because I was going through some rough personal stuff. They made me stay active, go out and have a good time. The supported me and helped me through it. My first semester in the house was wonderful. But things quickly changed. I was a spring baby so we had a long summer vacation between semesters. When I came back in the fall, I was overlooked for any offices I wanted to have for reasons I still don't know. Even though everyone told me that I was a good sister and someone they would want to have in an executive office. But suddenly I was overlooked and became just a sister. Which I accepted and went on to have an ok semester in the house. Then at the end of the fall semester we went up for offices again. And once again I was overlooked, I didn't understand. However, it ended up being a non issue because my grades from the fall semester prevented me from holding an office anyway. Then last semester came, and I had to fight for everything. I wanted a little sis and I had to fight for that because the rules changed all of a sudden. I wanted to go to semi formal, I had to fight for that. This was all because of my fall semester grades, but I kept giving them progress reports that showed I had mostly A's in the spring and I still had to fight to be heard. It was extremely frustrating. So, at the end of the semester I received my grades, 4 A's and 1 B. Not too shabby. But, somehow, just because it is me, it wasn't good enough to receive the room I signed up for at the end of the semester. My roommate from last year (who I love to death!), Katie and I had everything figured out, we even moved some stuff into the room we were moving into at the request of the girl assigning the rooms. So how can she change her mind 1 month before we are supposed to move back?! Now, it is too late to find other living arrangements, I can't get into the dorms, and any affordable apartments were booked long ago. So, right now I am stuck. I continue to fight it and I will until the day I move in. My roommate is fighting it too because 5 girls have their own room and we are forced into a room with 3 people. 3 of the 5 people who have their own rooms are living in a room made for 2 girls. So, it doesn't really make sense to me why they all get their own rooms except the fact that they are the girl's closest friends in the sorority. Well, I finally contacted someone in a position of "power" and she is fighting for me and Katie. Finally, someone with some integrity. She said she will get back to me on Monday, so hopefully she can get us some answers. Well, I suppose that's enough negativity for one blog.

On a more positive note, my roommate is coming down to my house this weekend and we are going to go to the lake and hang out. I'm super excited because I miss her like crazy! Anyways, I'm sure I'll have more to say on that after this weekend. Next positive thing, I really don't know what I would do without Darren, he's so wonderful! He has put up with the sorority drama and has always done everything he can to make me feel better. I love him so much and I hope he knows that I would do anything for him, just as he has done for me. Well, I'm sitting at work right now writing this blog, maybe I should do some actual work, like this dictation that seems to be a daunting task. Oh well, I am getting paid to do work so I suppose I should get to it.

Dena's Page started 7/27/06

2006-07-27T20:47:00.001-07:00

Hi this is Darren,
I started this page for my beautiful girlfriend Dena, to write her thoughts and feelings down. A blog sanctuary to write whatever she needs to. I love you baby, may this blog be an outlet for your soul.
love Darren